W. C. Fields

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. [Select]

{Category: Vice and Virtue}

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. [Select]

{Category: Wisdom and Ignorance}

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. [Select]

{Category: Altruism and Cynicism}

If at first you don't succeed, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no sense in being a damned fool about it. [Select]

{Category: Success and Failure}

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump. [Select]

{Category: Altruism and Cynicism}

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. [Select]

{Category: Altruism and Cynicism}

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