Woody Allen

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

 Woody Allen, in  Life and Death and  Love and Hate

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever.

 Woody Allen, in  Life and Death

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

 Woody Allen, in  Science and Religion

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

 Woody Allen, in  Science and Religion

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions.

 Woody Allen, in  Love and Hate

Marriage is the death of hope.

 Woody Allen, in  Love and Hate

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

 Woody Allen, in  Wealth and Poverty

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

 Woody Allen, in  Success and Failure

Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.

 Woody Allen, Love and Death, in  Love and Hate