Aphorisms Galore!

Front Page

Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/p6bwfqfr  ·   Fair (702 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/hifvkpkc  ·   Fair (328 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/kiehwrll  ·   Fair (673 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/jvo6jzxe  ·   Fair (257 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Only the mediocre are always at their best.

Jean Giraudoux, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/5rylx71v  ·   Fair (389 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/la65dtiv  ·   Fair (1022 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace

tiny.ag/w4s36qc2  ·   Fair (502 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/hobsgyde  ·   Fair (343 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Bertolt Brecht, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fg9hhljz  ·   Fair (3686 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yqgp7fad  ·   Fair (2924 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/c9ykbift  ·   Fair (769 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.

Anatole France, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/raffprlg  ·   Fair (318 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.

Abraham Lincoln, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/gu6tloek  ·   Fair (298 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ojpztwu9  ·   Fair (420 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.

Doug Horton, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/iilw7mtc  ·   Fair (2962 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower.

Mary Howitt, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/kygnp58l  ·   Fair (334 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

James Carse, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·   Fair (343 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·   Fair (1237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/i0nu42ok  ·   Fair (1224 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

Tom Clancy, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/hh0kfr5w  ·   Fair (415 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Nathaniel Borenstein, in Science and Religion