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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/bpcdcqq7 · submitted 1997
Hitch your wagon to a star.
tiny.ag/toiqhdlg · submitted 1997
Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
tiny.ag/mjjtqyix · submitted 1997
An excuse is the mark of a moral coward.
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/o5og0ube · submitted 1997
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
tiny.ag/bqie1hj5 · submitted 1998
An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.
tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv · submitted 1997
I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
tiny.ag/nxwvhtlg · submitted 1997
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
tiny.ag/kiehwrll · submitted 1997
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
tiny.ag/z91tc0go · submitted 1997
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
tiny.ag/vr4hxjva · submitted 1997
Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/npf5ywfi · submitted 1997
He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.
tiny.ag/yqo9cx7w · submitted 1997
Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free.
tiny.ag/36xg9wvl · submitted 1997
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Nicholas Murray Butler, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs · submitted 1997
The covers of this book are too far apart.
tiny.ag/c9ykbift · submitted 1997
When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
tiny.ag/l5snrywf · submitted 1997
Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain.
tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo · submitted 1997
Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death