Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/czhkruer  ·  submitted 1997

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/wh6qtopk  ·  submitted 1997

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/wpy86lpb  ·  submitted 1997

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/cgjakfr4  ·  submitted 1997

So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/bnnutdd7  ·  submitted 1997

Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/uvpjrb6x  ·  submitted 1997

Desperation is like stealing from the mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zpsqkb73  ·  submitted 1997

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/airwcz94  ·  submitted 1997

A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.

G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/wujpidqy  ·  submitted 1999

The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character. The only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionaries are philosophers and saints.

Will Durant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc  ·  submitted 1997

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ieyckbys  ·  submitted 1997

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.

Robert Burton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/kygnp58l  ·  submitted 1997

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

James Carse, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nqhblasx  ·  submitted 1997

It is perfectly true that the government is best which governs least. It is equally true that the government is best which provides most.

Walter Lippmann, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/gvohc8br  ·  submitted 1997

In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences.

Robert G. Ingersoll, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kgnpd9wc  ·  submitted 1998

Even thinking is participation.

Lassi Kämäri, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/j0vq6ox3  ·  submitted 1997

Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/a0oxkbo4  ·  submitted 1997

I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/pxnbu4ey  ·  submitted 1997

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue