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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/yqgp7fad · submitted 1997
I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.
tiny.ag/slwohzjt · submitted 1997
It's kinda fun to do the impossible.
tiny.ag/ndewfsya · submitted 1997
The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"
tiny.ag/j0xwttzq · submitted 1997
The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.
tiny.ag/kl7xzzq3 · submitted 1997
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.
tiny.ag/iht7l65u · submitted 1997
Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.
tiny.ag/tq4jumf6 · submitted 1997
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/bpu9tj3d · submitted 1997
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
tiny.ag/iilw7mtc · submitted 1997
He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower.
tiny.ag/k4hosucr · submitted 1997
Don't wait for the last judgment; it takes place every day.
tiny.ag/asaliq9g · submitted 1997
I live for books.
Thomas Jefferson, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/9bumiall · submitted 1997
There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
tiny.ag/ujvv0yxq · submitted 1997
The more we are filled with thoughts of lust the less we find true romantic love.
tiny.ag/cgydzmit · submitted 1997
To know is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.
tiny.ag/raffprlg · submitted 1997
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.
tiny.ag/5gcdbjbx · submitted 1997
Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration.
tiny.ag/jdfanm7k · submitted 1998
Lately I've found that if it weren't for stereotypes, conversation would be much more difficult for the closed-minded.
tiny.ag/9kdycunx · submitted 1997
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.
Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation