Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
1–20 (174)
tiny.ag/hq8w7xao · submitted 1997
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/otpgz4zj · submitted 1997
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
tiny.ag/r6bo5aic · submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen
Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.
tiny.ag/7do2rifh · submitted 1997
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/ne1vhxlr · submitted 1997
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.
tiny.ag/gymh6otw · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
tiny.ag/sdmeheo7 · submitted 1997
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
tiny.ag/q6kxew3z · submitted 1997
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
tiny.ag/r1bfukdv · submitted 1997
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
tiny.ag/wqt4ciab · submitted 1997
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
tiny.ag/dfwohelg · submitted 1997
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
tiny.ag/apirm627 · submitted 1997
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
tiny.ag/o1xf5nap · submitted 1997
If a feller says, "It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing," it's the money.
tiny.ag/4tfl7wlh · submitted 1997
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
tiny.ag/lu0qepci · submitted 1997
An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you.
tiny.ag/mtktl96r · submitted 1997
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
tiny.ag/gvohc8br · submitted 1997
In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences.
tiny.ag/dxokyfu8 · submitted 1997
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
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