Vice and Virtue
161 aphorisms · 5 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect -- and no more of it than we had earned.
When you're angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. When you're really angry, swear.
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
The scriptures teach us the best way of living, the noblest ways of suffering, and the most comfortable ways of dying.
The only people you should try to get even with are those who have helped you.
The more you put into life, the less you will get.
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well dance with it.
Resisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get another chance later on.
Revenge is sleeping with your enemy's wife. Sweet revenge is the realization that she's a lousy lay.
A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
He that is proud eats up himself; pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle.