Unknown

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we've used the ones we have?

Unknown, in War and Peace

Wise men make proverbs; fools repeat them.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.

Unknown, (Greek proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

All the way to heaven is heaven.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure