Unknown

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

 Unknown, in  Success and Failure

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

 Unknown, in  Food and Drink

Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

 Unknown, in  Love and Hate

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

 Unknown, in  Life and Death

A ship doesn't travel far in a calm sea.

 Unknown, in  Success and Failure

One does not make friends, one recognizes them.

 Unknown, in  Love and Hate

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

 Unknown, in  Vice and Virtue

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

 Unknown, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

 Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in  Law and Politics

Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.

 Unknown, in  Life and Death

A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted.

 Unknown, in  Work and Recreation

The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.

 Unknown, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

 Unknown, in  Love and Hate

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

 Unknown, in  Success and Failure

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

 Unknown, in  Success and Failure

Quigley's Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.

 Unknown, in  Law and Politics

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

 Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in  Work and Recreation

A pseudo-intellectual is a person who knows what "pseudo" means.

 Unknown, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

Good friends stab you in the front.

 Unknown, (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde), in  Love and Hate

Sharks mainly attack when your're wet.

 Unknown, in  Wisdom and Ignorance