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Unknown
420 aphorisms · 4 comments
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Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
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Edit Comment# · Fair (6 ratings) · submitted 1997
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.
Edit Comment# · Fair (315 ratings) · submitted 1997
If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.
Edit Comment# · Fair (92 ratings) · submitted 1997 ·
Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.
Unknown, in
Love and Hate
Edit Comment# · Fair (47 ratings) · submitted 1997
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Edit Comment# · Fair (50 ratings) · submitted 1997
One does not make friends, one recognizes them.
Unknown, in
Love and Hate
Edit Comment# · Fair (54 ratings) · submitted 1997
If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
Edit Comment# · Fair (49 ratings) · submitted 1997
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Edit Comment# · Fair (796 ratings) · submitted 1997
Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.
Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in
Law and Politics
Edit Comment# · Fair (31 ratings) · submitted 1997
Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.
Edit Comment# · Fair (43 ratings) · submitted 1997
A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted.
Edit Comment# · Fair (116 ratings) · submitted 1997
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
Edit Comment# · Fair (51 ratings) · submitted 1997
Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
Unknown, in
Love and Hate
Edit Comment# · Fair (114 ratings) · submitted 1997
You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.
Edit Comment# · Fair (49 ratings) · submitted 1997
There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.
Edit Comment# · Fair (131 ratings) · submitted 1997
Quigley's Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.
Edit Comment# · Fair (898 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 2007) ·
We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.
Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in
Work and Recreation
Edit Comment# · Fair (800 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 2004)
A pseudo-intellectual is a person who knows what "pseudo" means.
Edit Comment# · Fair (577 ratings) · submitted 1999 by
S.Skipper (updated 2000)
Good friends stab you in the front.
Unknown, (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde), in
Love and Hate
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