Success and Failure

If you see a turtle on a fence post, he has had some help.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is always better to fail in doing something than to excel in doing nothing.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure