Life and Death
196 aphorisms · 11 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
1–20 (196)
tiny.ag/satycnrw · submitted 1997
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/znmoyas0 · submitted 1997
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever.
tiny.ag/wpy86lpb · submitted 1997
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
tiny.ag/2rj0neai · submitted 1997
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
John Barrymore, (dying words), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/hl6bwuua · submitted 1997
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
tiny.ag/ulyprgno · submitted 1997
It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/ngzfgtnp · submitted 1997
Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
tiny.ag/6vqkumld · submitted 1997
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
tiny.ag/jmkw4qmh · submitted 1997
Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.
tiny.ag/sbtlzeuy · submitted 1997
Life is like a raffle -- you must be present to win.
tiny.ag/ckyj1g65 · submitted 1997
Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/nzh7mkgj · submitted 1997
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.
tiny.ag/mefigsvw · submitted 1997
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
tiny.ag/iltu4sq1 · submitted 1997
Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
tiny.ag/4asrjxv3 · submitted 1997
I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
tiny.ag/tpxrfoyh · submitted 1997
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
tiny.ag/gcj36kvs · submitted 1999 by pam brees
Every time a baby is born, so is a grandmother.
tiny.ag/ncueqfib · submitted 1997
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
tiny.ag/62i8fdwb · submitted 1997
Sloppy, raggedy-assed old life. I love it. I never want to die.
1–20 (196)