Life and Death

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

 Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in  Life and Death

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

 Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in  Life and Death

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

 Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in  Life and Death

It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies.

 Edith Hamilton, The Greek Way, in  Life and Death and  War and Peace

Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get.

 Winston Groom, Forrest Gump, in  Life and Death

In our society, any man who doesn't cry at his mother's funeral is liable to be condemned to death.

 Albert Camus, The Stranger, in  Life and Death

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

 Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in  Health and Disease and  Life and Death

Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

 Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in  Life and Death and  Men and Women

Every time a baby is born, so is a grandmother.

 Unknown, in  Life and Death

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

 Woody Allen, in  Life and Death and  Love and Hate

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.

 Maurice Chevalier, in  Life and Death

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

 Daniel Defoe, in  Life and Death

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

 Victor Hugo, in  Life and Death

What makes old age so sad is not that our joys but our hopes cease.

 Jean Paul Richter, in  Happiness and Misery and  Life and Death

Sloppy, raggedy-assed old life. I love it. I never want to die.

 Dennis Trudell, in  Happiness and Misery and  Life and Death

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

 Jack Handey, in  Life and Death

Life is ours to be spent, not saved.

 D. H. Lawrence, in  Happiness and Misery and  Life and Death

Genealogy is based on the obviously silly idea that there is no such thing as a bastard.

 Nicolas Martin, in  Life and Death and  Science and Religion

I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.

 Jimmy Buffett, in  Life and Death

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

 Doug Larson, in  Life and Death