Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/znmoyas0  ·  submitted 1997

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hwk0yobb  ·  submitted 1997

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/lewynsak  ·  submitted 1997

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/uys04zyz  ·  submitted 1997

Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Kennedy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/bleirdyt  ·  submitted 1997

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ygktzxcq  ·  submitted 1997

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/zdywajhx  ·  submitted 1997

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dxqkz8bq  ·  submitted 1997

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/7a4ntqxo  ·  submitted 1997

Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tqq05igh  ·  submitted 1997

Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hcogkx8m  ·  submitted 1997

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/9exdprka  ·  submitted 1997

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

William Allen White, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/8tw9d5gh  ·  submitted 1999 by E. Lechner

Either those curtains go or I do.

Oscar Wilde, (last words), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ilv3oim9  ·  submitted 1997

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.

Thornton Wilder, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/9djxhqx6  ·  submitted 1997

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/5udkeisb  ·  submitted 1997

There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy.

Paul Rudnick, in Life and Death and Science and Religion

tiny.ag/akq8lupr  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Margaret Lee Runbeck, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fbobxg1w  ·  submitted 1997

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.

Carl Sandburg, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hoegt9rs  ·  submitted 1997

Sanity is madness put to good use.

George Santayana, in Life and Death