Henry Louis Mencken

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Success and Failure

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Law and Politics

A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Happiness and Misery

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Men and Women

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Altruism and Cynicism

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Altruism and Cynicism

Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Altruism and Cynicism

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Law and Politics

Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Love and Hate

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Altruism and Cynicism

There's always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.

 Henry Louis Mencken, in  Altruism and Cynicism and  Science and Religion