Aphorisms Galore!

Men and Women

52 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/tcrvsd4o  ·  submitted 1997

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ymbukbew  ·  submitted 1997

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/n51jrfp4  ·  submitted 1997

When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/of4kcoqn  ·  submitted 1997

There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.

Gloria Steinem, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/hbnpkm8x  ·  submitted 1997

When God created two sexes, he may have been overdoing it.

Charles Merrill Smith, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/r1iq7coe  ·  submitted 1997

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Helen Rowland, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

tiny.ag/5upxjjc2  ·  submitted 1997

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.

Don Quinn, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

tiny.ag/fqbryph0  ·  submitted 1997

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

Aristotle Onassis, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/sfggj03u  ·  submitted 1997

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/oujtda0e  ·  submitted 1997

Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/xxgha1bk  ·  submitted 1997

Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap -- even men who hate baths.

Gelett Burgess, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/4gnwlaf8  ·  submitted 1997

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Alexandre Dumas, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/1nyf2coi  ·  submitted 1997

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

Giovanni Boccaccio, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw  ·  submitted 1997

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/pxnbu4ey  ·  submitted 1997

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/d6nssfxi  ·  submitted 1997

Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.

Lord Kelvin, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/wrcm1vhx  ·  submitted 1997

The more I know men, the more I love my dog.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/u0wakq2d  ·  submitted 1997

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/c8lfkzap  ·  submitted 1997

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she says.

Unknown, in Men and Women