Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
301–320 (422)
tiny.ag/exb7lihg · submitted 1997
I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.
Unknown, in Men and Women
tiny.ag/5edntuvq · submitted 1997
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
tiny.ag/6jbweh3g · submitted 1999 by John Cannizzaro
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
tiny.ag/fsy6lb1v · submitted 1997
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
tiny.ag/stfdm53a · submitted 1997
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
tiny.ag/aqhc8mvh · submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
tiny.ag/ugvde1cx · submitted 1997
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
tiny.ag/uapy9tbq · submitted 1997
A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.
tiny.ag/e8syltpb · submitted 1997
A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
tiny.ag/eckozapq · submitted 1997
A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted.
tiny.ag/fpmrxth3 · submitted 1997
A mountain wears down a horse, anger wears down a man.
tiny.ag/xrdfngoo · submitted 1997
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
Unknown, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/lkf1oudx · submitted 1997
A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
tiny.ag/auqhpii7 · submitted 1997
A person who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal.
tiny.ag/joubc6r8 · submitted 1997
A political campaign starts when a politician stops working and goes about making speeches about all the work he intends to do.
Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/ho6hzfu5 · submitted 1997
A political machine is a united minority working against a divided majority.
Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/llsj2qct · submitted 1997
A pseudo-intellectual is a person who knows what "pseudo" means.
tiny.ag/sl9dtwjl · submitted 1997
A reactionary is a man whose political opinions always manage to keep up with yesterday.
tiny.ag/ohswxac4 · submitted 1997
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
tiny.ag/8aevknh4 · submitted 1999
A ship doesn't travel far in a calm sea.
301–320 (422)