Aphorisms Galore!

W. C. Fields

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/vkemi9qo  ·   Fair (191 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/p3i4etjg  ·   Fair (159 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

W. C. Fields, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/sefftpkt  ·   Fair (150 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pyitdvns  ·   Fair (288 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxiykzqf  ·   Fair (254 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

If at first you don't succeed, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no sense in being a damned fool about it.

W. C. Fields, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/u5uejalg  ·   Fair (387 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism