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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/ooxlc4p0 · submitted 1997
Boring people are a reflection of boring people.
tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv · submitted 1997
I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
tiny.ag/zpsqkb73 · submitted 1997
The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.
tiny.ag/fwsozshx · submitted 1997
If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.
tiny.ag/ndewfsya · submitted 1997
The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"
tiny.ag/lctsfa7d · submitted 1997
Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.
Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/2xwphyb8 · submitted 1997
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
tiny.ag/airwcz94 · submitted 1997
A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.
G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/iv0n7jxr · submitted 1997
If we take science as our sole guide, if we accept and hold fast that alone which is verifiable, the old theology must go.
tiny.ag/ultj3i4v · submitted 1997
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.
tiny.ag/1jtdasvn · submitted 1997
Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.
tiny.ag/1i8zitnu · submitted 1998
I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harms way.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu · submitted 1997
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
tiny.ag/06lybgnu · submitted 1998
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is its own troubles.
Jesus Christ, (Matthew 6:34), in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/slwohzjt · submitted 1997
It's kinda fun to do the impossible.
tiny.ag/mgtvsjqa · submitted 1997
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Alva Edison, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/9bumiall · submitted 1997
There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
tiny.ag/mglnajv0 · submitted 1997
It is impossible to love and be wise.
tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw · submitted 1997
Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.