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The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Anatole France, in Vice and Virtue

I live for books.

Thomas Jefferson, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Lillian Hellman, in Altruism and Cynicism

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.

Robert Burton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Success and Failure

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.

John Brown, in Vice and Virtue

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

Leemans' Law: Junk expands to fill the space allotted.

Ron Leemans, in Work and Recreation

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Rami Belson, in Wisdom and Ignorance