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A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue

Man is able to do what he is unable to imagine. His head trails a wake through the galaxy of the absurd.

René Char, in Success and Failure

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon, in Success and Failure

Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.

Jenny Holzer, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

Thomas Jefferson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

To know is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.

Confucius, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes, in Science and Religion

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Robert F. Kennedy, in Success and Failure

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

Wisdom and beauty form a very rare combination

Petronius Arbiter, The Satyricon, XCIV, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.

Al Capone, in War and Peace

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

Albert Camus, in Work and Recreation