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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/evgupvn3 · submitted 1997
I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
tiny.ag/i0nu42ok · submitted 1997
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
tiny.ag/1i8zitnu · submitted 1998
I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harms way.
tiny.ag/dkwhzql3 · submitted 1997
Joy is not in things, it is in us.
tiny.ag/gu6tloek · submitted 1997
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics
tiny.ag/jvo6jzxe · submitted 1997
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
tiny.ag/5rylx71v · submitted 1997
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
tiny.ag/d3ttj2ag · submitted 1997
You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
tiny.ag/g9nfhw0y · submitted 1997
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/0spygbpd · submitted 1997
Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.
tiny.ag/iilw7mtc · submitted 1997
He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower.
tiny.ag/dozch5ts · submitted 1997
Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck.
tiny.ag/jwhevbgo · submitted 1997
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
tiny.ag/yuezt1iy · submitted 1997
A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world.
tiny.ag/64hrko9k · submitted 1997
I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
tiny.ag/pizd3ywt · submitted 1997
I hate quotations.
tiny.ag/la8pw7kl · submitted 1997
We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!
tiny.ag/w4s36qc2 · submitted 1997
A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.