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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho · submitted 1998
I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.
tiny.ag/npf5ywfi · submitted 1997
He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/i5ba47dl · submitted 1997
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/uoqbw63r · submitted 1997
It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, in Science and Religion
tiny.ag/7alftveq · submitted 1997
I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
tiny.ag/iv0n7jxr · submitted 1997
If we take science as our sole guide, if we accept and hold fast that alone which is verifiable, the old theology must go.
tiny.ag/ojpztwu9 · submitted 1997
Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.
tiny.ag/wtukmszr · submitted 1997
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
tiny.ag/czhkruer · submitted 1997
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
tiny.ag/ircejxuc · submitted 1997
You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
tiny.ag/8d5pktgj · submitted 1997
A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
Dyer, Dyer's Law, in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
tiny.ag/mglnajv0 · submitted 1997
It is impossible to love and be wise.
tiny.ag/da1k6tun · submitted 1999 by Stephen
All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.
tiny.ag/6jxieopf · submitted 1997
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
tiny.ag/isf8vo05 · submitted 1997
Delay is preferable to error.
tiny.ag/hudckmys · submitted 1997
If time be of all things most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality, since lost time is never found again; and what we call time enough always proves little enough.
tiny.ag/qiy9xdhn · submitted 1997
To "be" means to be related.
Alfred Korzybski, Science and Sanity, 1933 (4th ed., 1958), in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance