Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (890 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (378 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (637 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me right, shame on you.

Louis Armstrong, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (1099 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

The Notebooks of Lazarus Long (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (255 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (1198 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.

Joseph Conrad, in Art and Literature

Comment#  ·   Fair (303 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A man who seeks truth and loves it must be reckoned precious to any human society.

Frederick the Great, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (357 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.

Frank Capra, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (283 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.

Jenny Holzer, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (279 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.

Molly Ivins, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (673 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (257 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Only the mediocre are always at their best.

Jean Giraudoux, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (400 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (1649 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (436 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Nothing is more intolerable than to have to admit to yourself your own errors.

Ludwig van Beethoven, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (427 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace

Comment#  ·   Fair (324 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An excuse is the mark of a moral coward.

Joseph Cimino, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (519 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Ignorance does not necesarilly mean one has a lack of wisdom, for a most ignorant person can be one with much wisdom. It's "live and learn" that creates wisdom.

Austin Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (409 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant, in Happiness and Misery

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