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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/iqolobqc · submitted 1997
In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/ocxoq7dr · submitted 1997
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/kge2ejcq · submitted 1997
It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once.
tiny.ag/kl7xzzq3 · submitted 1997
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/jdfanm7k · submitted 1998
Lately I've found that if it weren't for stereotypes, conversation would be much more difficult for the closed-minded.
tiny.ag/oxoy2gsu · submitted 1997
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
tiny.ag/yqgp7fad · submitted 1997
I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.
tiny.ag/ry72cat0 · submitted 1997
There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.
tiny.ag/fjegbeuo · submitted 1997
I think it would be a good idea.
Mahatma Gandhi, (when asked what he thought of Western civilization), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/ucas5skv · submitted 1997
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
tiny.ag/dlefcimh · submitted 1997
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
tiny.ag/koyyze4o · submitted 1997
Character is what you know you are, not what others think you have.
tiny.ag/ya1hwz5x · submitted 1997
There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.
tiny.ag/o5og0ube · submitted 1997
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
tiny.ag/gesq5cpw · submitted 1997
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
tiny.ag/rxe07t5e · submitted 1997
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
tiny.ag/zpsqkb73 · submitted 1997
The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.