Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (257 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (589 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (490 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Anatole France, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (3066 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Comment#  ·   Fair (553 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (339 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (554 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (651 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (476 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Lillian Hellman, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (563 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.

Robert Burton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (331 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (396 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (455 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1071 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1214 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Politicians and Other Scoundrels (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (472 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.

John Brown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (433 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (1049 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

Catch-22 (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (1364 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Ron Leemans

Leemans' Law: Junk expands to fill the space allotted.

Ron Leemans, in Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (430 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Rami Belson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

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