Altruism and Cynicism

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

Getting caught is the mother of invention.

Robert Byrne, in Altruism and Cynicism

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

Everything is permitted.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, in Altruism and Cynicism

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Daniel Schorr, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace.

Albert Schweitzer, in Altruism and Cynicism

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.

William Shakespeare, in Altruism and Cynicism

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

William Shakespeare, in Altruism and Cynicism

A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism

When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport; when the tiger wants to murder him, it's called ferocity.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism

Baloney is flattery so thick that it can not be true and blarney is flattery so thin that we like it.

Fulton J. Sheen, in Altruism and Cynicism