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Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  6 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

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Comment#  ·   Fair (258 ratings)  ·  submitted 2011 by peter

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Robert J. Hanlon, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (146 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (119 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (140 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (234 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (93 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (121 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.

Voltaire, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (67 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (148 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (934 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (888 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (819 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (257 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (394 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

When the government fears the people, we have liberty. When the people fear the government, we have tyranny.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (76 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ann Landers, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (192 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Abraham Lincoln, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (257 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (268 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (97 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if you run out of food.

Dean McLaughlin, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (324 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Altruism and Cynicism

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