Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
1–20 (174)
tiny.ag/dfwohelg · submitted 1997
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
tiny.ag/td1vfiu9 · submitted 1997
Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
tiny.ag/9djxhqx6 · submitted 1997
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
tiny.ag/knyvxbon · submitted 1997
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
tiny.ag/0fxuodhb · submitted 1997
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
tiny.ag/vwaksnik · submitted 1997
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
tiny.ag/cjkab7en · submitted 1997
I can resist everything except temptation.
tiny.ag/kd1gueir · submitted 1997
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
tiny.ag/jsphv1u4 · submitted 1999
A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
tiny.ag/dliywafc · submitted 1997
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw · submitted 1997
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/amzxlbug · submitted 1997
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/wqt4ciab · submitted 1997
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
tiny.ag/r1bfukdv · submitted 1997
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
tiny.ag/q6kxew3z · submitted 1997
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
tiny.ag/sdmeheo7 · submitted 1997
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
tiny.ag/gymh6otw · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
tiny.ag/7do2rifh · submitted 1997
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
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