American author and journalist; b. 1842; d. 1913 · 29 aphorisms · no comments
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be nullified on behalf of a single petitioner, admittedly unworthy.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Riot: A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the fool their lack of understanding.
Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.
Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.