Aphorisms Galore!

Men and Women

52 aphorisms  ·  12 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

1–20 (52) > >>  ·  Submit an Aphorism  ·  Post a Comment

Comment#  ·   Fair (542 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (1213 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Thomas Dekker, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (914 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Walt Disney, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (836 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Alexandre Dumas, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (277 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.

Lord Kelvin, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (820 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (948 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap -- even men who hate baths.

Gelett Burgess, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (2985 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.

Douglas Jerrold, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (347 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.

Elbert Hubbard, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (948 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Life and Death and Men and Women

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (908 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

Giovanni Boccaccio, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (506 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (296 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (271 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (298 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (267 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch him have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (291 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (1021 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Falcon

Men don't need women -- they just need certain parts of their anatomy.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (269 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (278 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she says.

Unknown, in Men and Women

1–20 (52) > >>  ·  Submit an Aphorism  ·  Post a Comment