Men and Women

Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.

Lord Kelvin, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Timothy Leary, in Men and Women

Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap -- even men who hate baths.

Gelett Burgess, in Men and Women

My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.

Douglas Jerrold, in Men and Women

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Marcel Archard, in Men and Women

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

Giovanni Boccaccio, in Men and Women

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.

Elbert Hubbard, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Life and Death and Men and Women

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Alexandre Dumas, in Men and Women

Women make love for love, men make love for lust.

Derrick Harge, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

It is the ordinary women that know something about love. The gorgeous ones are too busy being gorgeous.

Katharine Hepburn, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.

Jane Austen, in Men and Women

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are always sure to get out of it.

Jane Austen, in Men and Women

When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

Unknown, in Men and Women

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Unknown, in Men and Women