Life and Death

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until I finally lifted my head, looked up and realised that I had dug my own grave.

Dominic, (on the psychology of a gambler), in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive.

The Earl of Chesterfield, in Life and Death

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. Everybody's crew.

Marshall McLuhan, (reprinted in the Hope Heart Health Newsletter), in Life and Death

Genealogy is based on the obviously silly idea that there is no such thing as a bastard.

Nicolas Martin, in Life and Death and Science and Religion

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

W. Somerset Maugham, in Life and Death

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

Clarence Darrow, in Life and Death

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Daniel Dennett, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

Georges Courteline, in Life and Death

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

Doug Larson, in Life and Death

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

Doug Larson, in Life and Death

Life is ours to be spent, not saved.

D. H. Lawrence, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Ursula K. LeGuin, in Life and Death

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.

John Lennon, in Life and Death