Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/90upthng  ·   Fair (1152 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

If you're here, you're alive.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/jlbzkcea  ·   Fair (237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/skc4wmie  ·   Fair (218 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It doesn't take all kinds -- we just have all kinds.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ulyprgno  ·   Fair (305 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·   Fair (264 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/jmkw4qmh  ·   Fair (251 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/sbtlzeuy  ·   Fair (265 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is like a raffle -- you must be present to win.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ckyj1g65  ·   Fair (321 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/jnvbea3l  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ncueqfib  ·   Fair (114 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/gcj36kvs  ·   Fair (219 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by pam brees

Every time a baby is born, so is a grandmother.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/tpxrfoyh  ·   Fair (131 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/iltu4sq1  ·   Fair (101 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/lkbki8ft  ·   Fair (305 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

tiny.ag/4asrjxv3  ·   Fair (130 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hwk0yobb  ·   Fair (101 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ynrgodhh  ·   Fair (151 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/lewynsak  ·   Fair (116 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hcogkx8m  ·   Fair (113 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/tqq05igh  ·   Fair (100 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.

Unknown, in Life and Death