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Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  12 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

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Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (148 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

Clarence Darrow, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (440 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (127 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Daniel Dennett, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (362 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (153 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until I finally lifted my head, looked up and realised that I had dug my own grave.

Dominic, (on the psychology of a gambler), in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (175 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (206 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (868 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive.

The Earl of Chesterfield, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (58 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Paul Gauguin, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (75 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (236 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (66 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream.

Kahlil Gibran, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (85 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

Brendan Gill, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (127 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (1151 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

If you're here, you're alive.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (236 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (217 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It doesn't take all kinds -- we just have all kinds.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (302 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (263 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·  **-- Fair (250 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.

Unknown, in Life and Death

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