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Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  12 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

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Comment#  ·   Fair (113 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (151 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (193 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (119 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (128 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't die until you're dead.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (88 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (113 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (114 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (219 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by pam brees

Every time a baby is born, so is a grandmother.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (131 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (101 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (305 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (890 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (195 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.

Steven Coallier, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (368 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (89 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Goodbye. I am leaving because I am bored.

George Saunders, (dying words), in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (69 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch.

David A. Schmaltz, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (397 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tale told by an idiot -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare, Macbeth, in Life and Death

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