Life and Death

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

Life is made up of marble and mud.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, in Life and Death

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Life is like a raffle -- you must be present to win.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Not everyone born in a stable thinks himself a horse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Unknown, in Life and Death

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

The secret to life is that there is no secret.

Unknown, in Life and Death

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure