Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/yio6tuyz  ·  submitted 1997

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/sdvpkq9f  ·  submitted 1997

Life is made up of marble and mud.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/c4bqu3ci  ·  submitted 1997

To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/i5on8zyd  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/yqwcpnfd  ·  submitted 1997

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

tiny.ag/uxknfqoq  ·  submitted 1997

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/jmkw4qmh  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/sbtlzeuy  ·  submitted 1997

Life is like a raffle -- you must be present to win.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ckyj1g65  ·  submitted 1997

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/nzh7mkgj  ·  submitted 1997

Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/mefigsvw  ·  submitted 1997

Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ngzfgtnp  ·  submitted 1997

Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hni90jff  ·  submitted 1997

Not everyone born in a stable thinks himself a horse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/26yeyslg  ·  submitted 1997

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/jmnes1bp  ·  submitted 1997

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/zpdgt5p3  ·  submitted 1997

The secret to life is that there is no secret.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ucas5skv  ·  submitted 1997

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ktc0xjw3  ·  submitted 1997

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/leqwvn5o  ·  submitted 1997

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death