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Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  6 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

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Comment#  ·   Fair (228 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (210 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (229 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (78 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Harry S Truman, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (91 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.

John Tudor, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (350 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (304 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (301 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (146 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (119 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (140 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (234 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (93 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (121 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.

Voltaire, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (67 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (148 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (934 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (888 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (1024 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (475 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

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