Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/ojk8xbtj  ·   Fair (981 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·   Fair (1237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·   Fair (922 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·   Fair (916 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·   Fair (249 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/57fvsz6t  ·   Fair (230 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kje1nil8  ·   Fair (339 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Grub first, then ethics.

Bertolt Brecht, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/co7binat  ·   Fair (223 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random.

André Breton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/nsami72o  ·   Fair (1208 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/rts5bix2  ·   Fair (1008 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bvtzf17g  ·   Fair (1228 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/pyitdvns  ·   Fair (288 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/u5uejalg  ·   Fair (387 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kvgolwyi  ·   Fair (278 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

The danger today is not so much that machines will learn to think and feel but that men will cease to do so.

Ferry, in Altruism and Cynicism and Science and Religion

tiny.ag/eh4xjmzt  ·   Fair (188 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·   Fair (175 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/1make2qd  ·   Fair (777 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Brothers Karamazov (paperback)

Everything is permitted.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/v128alif  ·   Fair (126 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tacuwmyh  ·   Fair (146 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/bx0vlces  ·   Fair (323 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure