Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/rxylykkp  ·  submitted 1997

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

Mother Teresa, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/xhg05ovb  ·  submitted 1997

I never know how much of what I say is true.

Bette Midler, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/b4tuds1y  ·  submitted 1997

There's always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism and Science and Religion

tiny.ag/7gz85bqy  ·  submitted 1997

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jcmyu3ji  ·  submitted 1997

Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jwmd8ebc  ·  submitted 1997

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/hwvmnmsf  ·  submitted 1997

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bn17or2l  ·  submitted 1997

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/g7qmt4qj  ·  submitted 1997

Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if you run out of food.

Dean McLaughlin, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/avosjwgh  ·  submitted 1997

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tnirgb8y  ·  submitted 1997

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/eh4xjmzt  ·  submitted 1997

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r3gvjlqa  ·  submitted 1997

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Abraham Lincoln, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/bx0vlces  ·  submitted 1997

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/qr9ysjed  ·  submitted 1997

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/v128alif  ·  submitted 1997

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vlei56tn  ·  submitted 1997

Every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early and the human race come to an end.

Joseph Conrad, in Altruism and Cynicism