Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/v128alif  ·  submitted 1997

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/58hbs9pq  ·  submitted 1997

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/uapy9tbq  ·  submitted 1997

A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/td1vfiu9  ·  submitted 1997

Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

Robert Anton Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9djxhqx6  ·  submitted 1997

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/knyvxbon  ·  submitted 1997

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vwaksnik  ·  submitted 1997

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/amzxlbug  ·  submitted 1997

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dliywafc  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kd1gueir  ·  submitted 1997

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/cjkab7en  ·  submitted 1997

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/0fxuodhb  ·  submitted 1997

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jsphv1u4  ·  submitted 1999

A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r6bo5aic  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/otpgz4zj  ·  submitted 1997

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/5otyux70  ·  submitted 1997

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.

Voltaire, in Altruism and Cynicism