Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
41–60 (174)
tiny.ag/hq8w7xao · submitted 1997
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
tiny.ag/dfwohelg · submitted 1997
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
tiny.ag/wqt4ciab · submitted 1997
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
tiny.ag/r1bfukdv · submitted 1997
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
tiny.ag/q6kxew3z · submitted 1997
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
tiny.ag/sdmeheo7 · submitted 1997
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
tiny.ag/gymh6otw · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
tiny.ag/ne1vhxlr · submitted 1997
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.
tiny.ag/7do2rifh · submitted 1997
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/r6bo5aic · submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen
Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.
tiny.ag/otpgz4zj · submitted 1997
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
tiny.ag/amzxlbug · submitted 1997
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw · submitted 1997
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/dliywafc · submitted 1997
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/dtxsg5kf · submitted 1997
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is statistics.
tiny.ag/1make2qd · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/purgb27l · submitted 1997
A dozen press agents working overtime can do terrible things to the human spirit.
tiny.ag/p2zj718l · submitted 1997
The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...
41–60 (174)