real name Samuel L. Clemens; American author; b. 1835; d. 1910
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.
Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.