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Mark Twain

real name Samuel L. Clemens; American author; b. 1835; d. 1910  ·  35 aphorisms  ·  no comments

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

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Comment#  ·   Fair (517 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has read.

Mark Twain, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (424 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Mark Twain, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (342 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence -- and then success is sure.

Mark Twain, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (328 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (333 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (380 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (1238 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Mark Twain, Following the Equator, in Happiness and Misery and Vice and Virtue

Following the Equator (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (412 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.

Mark Twain, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (349 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Facts, or what a man believes to be facts, are delightful... Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (350 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (462 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Mark Twain, in Art and Literature

Comment#  ·   Fair (356 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (304 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (301 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (474 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Mark Twain, in Art and Literature

Comment#  ·   Fair (350 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (340 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said, "I don't know."

Mark Twain, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (439 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Mark Twain, in Wealth and Poverty

Comment#  ·   Fair (205 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (191 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

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