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Woody Allen

American screenplay writer, actor and director; b. 1935  ·  9 aphorisms  ·  no comments

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

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Comment#  ·   Fair (890 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (358 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (410 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

Woody Allen, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (493 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (279 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (839 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen, in Wealth and Poverty

Comment#  ·   Fair (316 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Woody Allen, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (545 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.

Woody Allen, Love and Death, in Love and Hate

Love and Death

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