Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/oswh8aui  ·  submitted 1997

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

Joe Ancis, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/57fvsz6t  ·  submitted 1997

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/qr9ysjed  ·  submitted 1997

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bx0vlces  ·  submitted 1997

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/l9caw6tv  ·  submitted 1997

A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.

George Eliot, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kdbyxotm  ·  submitted 1997

Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts... perhaps the fear of a loss of power.

John Steinbeck, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxokyfu8  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to be quotable than to be honest.

Tom Stoppard, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/np9dvtka  ·  submitted 1997

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Theodore Sturgeon, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vinogpxg  ·  submitted 1997

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.

Bert Leston Taylor, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/apirm627  ·  submitted 1997

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

James Thurber, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/hq8w7xao  ·  submitted 1997

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Lily Tomlin, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dfwohelg  ·  submitted 1997

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Harry S Truman, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/wqt4ciab  ·  submitted 1997

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.

John Tudor, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r1bfukdv  ·  submitted 1997

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism