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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

 Burt Bacharach, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

 Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in  Life and Death

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

 Philip K. Dick, in  Science and Religion

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

 Rudyard Kipling, in  Men and Women and  Vice and Virtue

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

 David Knight, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

 Mahatma Gandhi, in  Happiness and Misery

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

 John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in  War and Peace

It is the mark of an educated mind to rest satisfied with the degree of precision which the nature of the subject admits and not to seek exactness where only an approximation is possible.

 Aristotle, in  Science and Religion

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

 Yogi Berra, in  Success and Failure

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

 Nicholas Murray Butler, in  Science and Religion and  Success and Failure

Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

 Gilbert K. Chesterton, in  Wisdom and Ignorance

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

 Georges Courteline, in  Life and Death

In adultery, there is usually tenderness and self-sacrifice; in murder, courage; in profanation and blasphemy, a certain satanic splendour. Judas elected those offences unvisited by any virtues: abuse of confidence and informing.

 Jorge Luis Borges, "Three Versions of Judas", in  Vice and Virtue

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

 Rudyard Kipling, in  Men and Women

There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

 Peter F. Drucker, in  Success and Failure

The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

 Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in  Vice and Virtue

The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"

 Sigmund Freud, in  Men and Women

Yield to temptation -- it may not pass your way again.

 Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (Lazarus Long), in  Vice and Virtue

War is not nice.

 Barbara Bush, in  War and Peace

Life's tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.

 Benjamin Franklin, in  Wisdom and Ignorance