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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:
Edit Comment# · Fair (672 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in
Life and Death
Edit Comment# · Fair (71 ratings) · submitted 1997
I don't feel good.
Luther Burbank, (dying words), in
Life and Death
Edit Comment# · Fair (693 ratings) · submitted 1997 ·
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in
Wisdom and Ignorance
Edit Comment# · Fair (677 ratings) · submitted 1998
It was involuntary. They sank my boat.
John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in
War and Peace
Edit Comment# · Fair (197 ratings) · submitted 1997
Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.
Edit Comment# · Fair (165 ratings) · submitted 1997
I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.
Edit Comment# · Fair (368 ratings) · submitted 1999 by
Stephen
All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.
Edit Comment# · Fair (814 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in
Science and Religion
Edit Comment# · Fair (59 ratings) · submitted 1997
To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.
Edit Comment# · Fair (107 ratings) · submitted 1997 ·
He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.
Edit Comment# · Fair (2657 ratings) · submitted 1997
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Edit Comment# · Fair (41 ratings) · submitted 1997
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.
Edit Comment# · Fair (17 ratings) · submitted 1997
There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.
Edit Comment# · Fair (150 ratings) · submitted 1997
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
Edit Comment# · Fair (11 ratings) · submitted 1997
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.
Edit Comment# · Fair (11 ratings) · submitted 1997
I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Edit Comment# · Fair (215 ratings) · submitted 1997
I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works.
Edit Comment# · Fair (792 ratings) · submitted 1999 by
Ron Leemans
Leemans' Law: Junk expands to fill the space allotted.