Unknown

If you believe everything you read, you'd better not read.

Unknown, (Japanese proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

If you do what you've always done, you'll be what you've always been.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you love your job, you will never have to work another day in your life.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you -- but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you see a turtle on a fence post, he has had some help.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If you treat a person as he is, he will remain as he is. If you treat him for what he could be, he will become what he could be.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death