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Vice and Virtue

161 aphorisms  ·  5 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

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Comment#  ·   Fair (224 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (128 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (116 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (109 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (97 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

Unknown, (Sioux Indian prayer), in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (136 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (232 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (161 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (170 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (125 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (102 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (110 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you treat a person as he is, he will remain as he is. If you treat him for what he could be, he will become what he could be.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (229 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (328 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (333 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (380 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (1238 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Mark Twain, Following the Equator, in Happiness and Misery and Vice and Virtue

Following the Equator (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (356 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (205 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (191 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

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