Unknown

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them.

Unknown, (German proverb), in Work and Recreation

God gives every bird his worm, but he doesn't throw it into the nest.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Unknown, (Chinese proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure