Unknown

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Wealth and Poverty

My hands are free, but my mind hesitates.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

My mind is made up, don't confuse me with the facts!

Unknown, in Science and Religion

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she says.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Not everyone born in a stable thinks himself a horse.

Unknown, in Life and Death