Unknown

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Cheer up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Change is good, but dollars are better.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth -- communism is the equal distribution of poverty.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Experience is often what you get when you were expecting something else.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.

Unknown, in Success and Failure