Unknown

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Truth fears no questions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Unknown, (Muslim proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism