Unknown

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Unknown, (Chinese proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism