Unknown

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Not everyone born in a stable thinks himself a horse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Nostalgia is the realization that things weren't as unbearable as they seemed at the time.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Never give advice -- a wise man won't need it, a fool won't heed it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure