Unknown

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Hatred is toxic waste in the river of life.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation