Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

420 aphorisms  ·  5 comments

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

1–20 (420) > >>  ·  Submit an Aphorism  ·  Post a Comment

Comment#  ·   Fair (204 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (170 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (111 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (444 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink

Comment#  ·   Fair (164 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (125 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (224 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (102 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (291 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (108 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (46 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (171 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If there is anything better than being loved, it's loving.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (215 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If voting should change anything, there would be a law against it.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (226 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (877 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

A ship doesn't travel far in a calm sea.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (154 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A single fact can spoil a good argument.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (877 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by LEStephey

A small journey begins with one step and ends with another.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (22 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (216 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (191 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

1–20 (420) > >>  ·  Submit an Aphorism  ·  Post a Comment