Unknown

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in Work and Recreation

Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.

Unknown, (sometimes, almost certainly incorrectly, attributed to the Buddha), in Life and Death

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation