Unknown

Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth -- communism is the equal distribution of poverty.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Change is good, but dollars are better.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Cheer up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Conquering Russia should be done steppe by steppe.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Contention is better than loneliness.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Cynics are made, not born.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Don't do whatever you like -- like whatever you do.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Work and Recreation

Don't die until you're dead.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death