Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/fg9hhljz  ·   Fair (3686 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·   Fair (591 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/6thfwduq  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Romance is built on illusion, and when we love someone, we love the illusion they have created for us.

Roger Ebert, (from review of Boys Don't Cry, Oct. 22, 1999), in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/cgjakfr4  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/fjegbeuo  ·   Fair (1058 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi, (when asked what he thought of Western civilization), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/f0cqgbjg  ·   Fair (325 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/a0oxkbo4  ·   Fair (380 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc  ·   Fair (391 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/mgtvsjqa  ·   Fair (415 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·   Fair (1237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ls2p5dcg  ·   Fair (283 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.

Jenny Holzer, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/oqpuijzx  ·   Fair (625 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hell, there are no rules here -- we're trying to accomplish something.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx  ·   Fair (433 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo  ·   Fair (935 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An Evening Wasted (audio CD)

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw  ·   Fair (542 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/fsnkyl1j  ·   Fair (578 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

To generalize is to be an idiot.

William Blake, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/mmclufba  ·   Fair (310 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Less than fifteen percent of the people do any original thinking on any subject... The greatest torture in the world for most people is to think.

Luther Burbank, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/iht7l65u  ·   Fair (521 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.

Bellamy Brooks, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/oxoy2gsu  ·   Fair (480 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/b3ohbca1  ·   Fair (254 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

He who spends his time reading aphorisms of another to have one of his own, has no time or brains to have any of his own.

M. Bernheisel, in Wisdom and Ignorance