Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/ucas5skv  ·   Fair (1249 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·   Fair (522 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ls2p5dcg  ·   Fair (283 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.

Jenny Holzer, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/x06lwkz4  ·   Fair (555 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life's tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.

Benjamin Franklin, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·   Fair (890 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/mgtvsjqa  ·   Fair (415 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/c6jkeq5x  ·   Fair (811 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·   Fair (255 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/vmqykh2c  ·   Fair (1049 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·   Fair (368 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ojpztwu9  ·   Fair (420 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.

Doug Horton, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx  ·   Fair (433 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/0spygbpd  ·   Fair (535 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.

Henrik Ibsen, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/z91tc0go  ·   Fair (430 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/hyedkhd2  ·   Fair (330 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/orx9er1h  ·   Fair (383 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/toiqhdlg  ·   Fair (405 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

David Broder, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/950guyxd  ·   Fair (479 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/hh0kfr5w  ·   Fair (415 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Nathaniel Borenstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/w4s36qc2  ·   Fair (502 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate