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I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in Vice and Virtue

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

Robert J. Oppenheimer, (quoting the Bhagavadgita after witnessing the first nuclear explosion), in War and Peace

Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.

Bellamy Brooks, in Altruism and Cynicism

All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr, in Science and Religion

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Vice and Virtue

The more we are filled with thoughts of lust the less we find true romantic love.

Doug Horton, in Love and Hate

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death

Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

David Broder, in Law and Politics

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Happiness and Misery