Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/fwsozshx  ·  submitted 1997

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ojpztwu9  ·  submitted 1997

Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.

Doug Horton, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/uejht2oo  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Jules de Gaultier, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/isf8vo05  ·  submitted 1997

Delay is preferable to error.

Thomas Jefferson, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ajjiywbg  ·  submitted 1997

It costs to be stupid. The stupider you are, the more it costs.

Sherrill Brown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/sq9g8eav  ·  submitted 1997

Dune (paperback)

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Frank Herbert, Dune, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/b3ohbca1  ·  submitted 1998

He who spends his time reading aphorisms of another to have one of his own, has no time or brains to have any of his own.

M. Bernheisel, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/lctsfa7d  ·  submitted 1997

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/zpsqkb73  ·  submitted 1997

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/dlefcimh  ·  submitted 1997

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/t9m3smqg  ·  submitted 1997

Women make love for love, men make love for lust.

Derrick Harge, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

tiny.ag/uvpjrb6x  ·  submitted 1997

Desperation is like stealing from the mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/fed8pqej  ·  submitted 1997 by David Epstein

Disorder increases with time because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases.

Stephen Hawking, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/s3j4zgfm  ·  submitted 1997

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/iht7l65u  ·  submitted 1997

Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.

Bellamy Brooks, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/airwcz94  ·  submitted 1997

A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.

G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yamidgsg  ·  submitted 1999

Ignorance does not necesarilly mean one has a lack of wisdom, for a most ignorant person can be one with much wisdom. It's "live and learn" that creates wisdom.

Austin Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/gvfo9jw1  ·  submitted 1997

Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

Gilbert K. Chesterton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/br8cx6zt  ·  submitted 1997

I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution.

Werner von Braun, in Success and Failure