Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·   Fair (522 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kjm5ugma  ·   Fair (201 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Change occurs in direct proportion to dissatisfaction, but dissatisfaction never changes.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ct4xj6gg  ·   Fair (533 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/la65dtiv  ·   Fair (1022 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace

tiny.ag/wh6qtopk  ·   Fair (146 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ajjiywbg  ·   Fair (230 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It costs to be stupid. The stupider you are, the more it costs.

Sherrill Brown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·   Fair (549 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/pu94ynqw  ·   Fair (299 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ynhvcg3k  ·   Fair (201 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.

Hubert Humphrey, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/2cctxyhg  ·   Fair (610 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.

Hans A. Bethe, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/hfx4m7bz  ·   Fair (555 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998 by David Shorr

The Satyricon (paperback)

Wisdom and beauty form a very rare combination

Petronius Arbiter, The Satyricon, XCIV, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ymliwjpf  ·   Fair (483 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

War is not nice.

Barbara Bush, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/bmdpgrs0  ·   Fair (1377 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Let's have some new clichés.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·   Fair (591 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/qycsaode  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.

Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw  ·   Fair (542 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/wtukmszr  ·   Fair (1186 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/36xg9wvl  ·   Fair (374 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Nicholas Murray Butler, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/9bumiall  ·   Fair (355 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Peter F. Drucker, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/r3davdhl  ·   Fair (427 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace