Aphorisms Galore!

Front Page

Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/950guyxd  ·  submitted 1997

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/e87wmjqg  ·  submitted 1997

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/p7nfwxgq  ·  submitted 1997

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zwylfryx  ·  submitted 1997

Dune (paperback)

It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion.

Frank Herbert, Dune, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ultj3i4v  ·  submitted 1997

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.

Sandra Carey, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/vk93rps4  ·  submitted 1997

We must become the change we want to see.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/b5zelloy  ·  submitted 1997

Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.

Edward Everett, in War and Peace and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/orx9er1h  ·  submitted 1997

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/uoqbw63r  ·  submitted 1997

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu  ·  submitted 1999 by David Knight

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/r3davdhl  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/6thfwduq  ·  submitted 1999

Romance is built on illusion, and when we love someone, we love the illusion they have created for us.

Roger Ebert, (from review of Boys Don't Cry, Oct. 22, 1999), in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/yefighwf  ·  submitted 1999

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b  ·  submitted 1997

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/iqolobqc  ·  submitted 1997

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc  ·  submitted 1997

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion