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Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Nothing is more intolerable than to have to admit to yourself your own errors.

Ludwig van Beethoven, in Success and Failure

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

Women make love for love, men make love for lust.

Derrick Harge, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes, in Science and Religion

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant, in Happiness and Misery

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

Life's tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.

Benjamin Franklin, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.

G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Jules de Gaultier, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.

R. I. Fitzhenry, in Wisdom and Ignorance

We must become the change we want to see.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Yield to temptation -- it may not pass your way again.

Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (Lazarus Long), in Vice and Virtue

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

War is not nice.

Barbara Bush, in War and Peace

We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!

Rudyard Kipling, in Success and Failure