Front Page

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"

Sigmund Freud, in Men and Women

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Bertolt Brecht, in Success and Failure

Mankind must give up war in the Atomic Era. What is at stake is the life or death of humanity.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.

Abraham Lincoln, in Law and Politics

To know is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.

Confucius, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.

R. I. Fitzhenry, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.

Hubert Humphrey, in Success and Failure

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Dyer, in Work and Recreation

Too much of a good thing is just that.

Brian J. Dent, in Vice and Virtue

Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.

Jenny Holzer, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi, (when asked what he thought of Western civilization), in Law and Politics

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four. If that is granted, all else follows.

George Orwell, 1984, in Happiness and Misery

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death