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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu · submitted 1997
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/o5og0ube · submitted 1997
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
tiny.ag/2xwphyb8 · submitted 1997
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
tiny.ag/xkpfj82n · submitted 1997
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
tiny.ag/2cctxyhg · submitted 1997
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
tiny.ag/fg9hhljz · submitted 1997
Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.
tiny.ag/uejht2oo · submitted 1997
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
tiny.ag/fwsozshx · submitted 1997
If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.
tiny.ag/5rylx71v · submitted 1997
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
tiny.ag/iv0n7jxr · submitted 1997
If we take science as our sole guide, if we accept and hold fast that alone which is verifiable, the old theology must go.
tiny.ag/w4s36qc2 · submitted 1997
A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
tiny.ag/i5ba47dl · submitted 1997
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/ircejxuc · submitted 1997
You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
tiny.ag/bmdpgrs0 · submitted 1997
Let's have some new clichés.
tiny.ag/airwcz94 · submitted 1997
A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.
G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/bpcdcqq7 · submitted 1997
Hitch your wagon to a star.
tiny.ag/ya1hwz5x · submitted 1997
There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.
tiny.ag/losztnwc · submitted 1997
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance