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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/c6jkeq5x · submitted 1997
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx · submitted 1997
I don't feel good.
Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/hobsgyde · submitted 1997
Why be a man when you can be a success?
tiny.ag/odq1svy5 · submitted 1997
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
tiny.ag/cgjakfr4 · submitted 1997
So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.
tiny.ag/ufko7fwv · submitted 1997
I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.
tiny.ag/1i8zitnu · submitted 1998
I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harms way.
tiny.ag/gokrtfpu · submitted 1997
If I don't know I don't know, I think I know. If I don't know I know, I think I don't know.
tiny.ag/poggndv0 · submitted 1997
Be polite to all, but intimate with few.
tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo · submitted 1997
Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/0spygbpd · submitted 1997
Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.
tiny.ag/nxwvhtlg · submitted 1997
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
tiny.ag/ndscvllq · submitted 1997
Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
tiny.ag/p6bwfqfr · submitted 1997
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
tiny.ag/fg9hhljz · submitted 1997
Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.
tiny.ag/jgjax6rp · submitted 1999
Take a chance and you may lose. Take not a chance and you have lost already.
tiny.ag/i0nu42ok · submitted 1997
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
tiny.ag/czhkruer · submitted 1997
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
tiny.ag/e87wmjqg · submitted 1997
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.