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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/dkwhzql3 · submitted 1997
Joy is not in things, it is in us.
tiny.ag/5rylx71v · submitted 1997
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
tiny.ag/pu94ynqw · submitted 1997
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
tiny.ag/byzkqtr3 · submitted 1997
I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works.
tiny.ag/yamidgsg · submitted 1999
Ignorance does not necesarilly mean one has a lack of wisdom, for a most ignorant person can be one with much wisdom. It's "live and learn" that creates wisdom.
tiny.ag/iht7l65u · submitted 1997
Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.
tiny.ag/jvo6jzxe · submitted 1997
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
tiny.ag/wujpidqy · submitted 1999
The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character. The only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionaries are philosophers and saints.
tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx · submitted 1997
I don't feel good.
Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/fg9hhljz · submitted 1997
Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.
tiny.ag/vk93rps4 · submitted 1997
We must become the change we want to see.
tiny.ag/ircejxuc · submitted 1997
You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/fwsozshx · submitted 1997
If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.
tiny.ag/ajjiywbg · submitted 1997
It costs to be stupid. The stupider you are, the more it costs.
tiny.ag/yzqij6mr · submitted 1997
I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul.
Haldane, in Vice and Virtue and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/hjlqxeds · submitted 1997
In politics, merit is rewarded by the possessor being raised, like a target, to a position to be fired at.
Christian Nevell Bovee, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/zwylfryx · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/o5og0ube · submitted 1997
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.