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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu · submitted 1997
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho · submitted 1998
I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/2cctxyhg · submitted 1997
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
tiny.ag/5rylx71v · submitted 1997
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
tiny.ag/ojpztwu9 · submitted 1997
Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.
tiny.ag/iv0n7jxr · submitted 1997
If we take science as our sole guide, if we accept and hold fast that alone which is verifiable, the old theology must go.
tiny.ag/7alftveq · submitted 1997
I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
tiny.ag/wtukmszr · submitted 1997
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
tiny.ag/i5ba47dl · submitted 1997
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/czhkruer · submitted 1997
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
tiny.ag/ircejxuc · submitted 1997
You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
tiny.ag/airwcz94 · submitted 1997
A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.
G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/da1k6tun · submitted 1999 by Stephen
All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.
tiny.ag/6jxieopf · submitted 1997
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
tiny.ag/isf8vo05 · submitted 1997
Delay is preferable to error.
tiny.ag/hoklinq4 · submitted 1997
Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.
tiny.ag/hudckmys · submitted 1997
If time be of all things most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality, since lost time is never found again; and what we call time enough always proves little enough.