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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/950guyxd · submitted 1997
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
tiny.ag/e87wmjqg · submitted 1997
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
tiny.ag/p7nfwxgq · submitted 1997
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
tiny.ag/zwylfryx · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/ultj3i4v · submitted 1997
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.
tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb · submitted 1999
Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/vk93rps4 · submitted 1997
We must become the change we want to see.
tiny.ag/b5zelloy · submitted 1997
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
tiny.ag/orx9er1h · submitted 1997
The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/uoqbw63r · submitted 1997
It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, in Science and Religion
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/r3davdhl · submitted 1997
In war, there is no substitute for victory.
tiny.ag/m6lj8yot · submitted 1997
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
tiny.ag/6thfwduq · submitted 1999
Romance is built on illusion, and when we love someone, we love the illusion they have created for us.
Roger Ebert, (from review of Boys Don't Cry, Oct. 22, 1999), in Love and Hate
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/yefighwf · submitted 1999
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b · submitted 1997
Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/iqolobqc · submitted 1997
In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc · submitted 1997
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.