Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (479 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (242 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (986 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (810 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in Vice and Virtue

History of England (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (370 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

Robert J. Oppenheimer, (quoting the Bhagavadgita after witnessing the first nuclear explosion), in War and Peace

Comment#  ·   Fair (521 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.

Bellamy Brooks, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (146 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (368 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (533 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (1560 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by David Knight

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (673 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (576 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (403 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (1039 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (324 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The more we are filled with thoughts of lust the less we find true romantic love.

Doug Horton, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (447 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (405 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

David Broder, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (550 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

Comment#  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Happiness and Misery

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