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If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Whenever anyone says anything he is indulging in theories.

Alfred Korzybski, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

James Carse, in Life and Death

Too much of a good thing is just that.

Brian J. Dent, in Vice and Virtue

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Yogi Berra, in Success and Failure

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in Vice and Virtue

The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr, in Science and Religion

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

When skunks duel, wind direction is everything.

Michael A. Loduha, (on environmental factors in legal cases vs. the attorneys' skills; from a lecture series), in Law and Politics

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.

Al Capone, in War and Peace

The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Success and Failure

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Timothy Leary, in Men and Women

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey, in Law and Politics