Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/64hrko9k  ·   Fair (1211 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/raffprlg  ·   Fair (318 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.

Abraham Lincoln, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/f0cqgbjg  ·   Fair (325 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/bqie1hj5  ·   Fair (651 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b  ·   Fair (608 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·   Fair (388 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/gvohc8br  ·   Fair (3332 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences.

Robert G. Ingersoll, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/slwohzjt  ·   Fair (549 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's kinda fun to do the impossible.

Walt Disney, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/poggndv0  ·   Fair (2925 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

Thomas Jefferson, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·   Fair (591 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/o7yghtxb  ·   Fair (1375 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

1984 (paperback)

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four. If that is granted, all else follows.

George Orwell, 1984, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/7alftveq  ·   Fair (550 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/qh2wpltu  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/fg9hhljz  ·   Fair (3686 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/l4pyn7j8  ·   Fair (472 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.

John Brown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gu6tloek  ·   Fair (298 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/1jtdasvn  ·   Fair (1273 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

Thomas Jefferson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv  ·   Fair (242 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·   Fair (549 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·   Fair (1237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism