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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (1375 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four. If that is granted, all else follows.

George Orwell, 1984, in Happiness and Misery

1984 (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (547 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

Gilbert K. Chesterton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (325 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (290 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.

Eric Hoffer, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (2925 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

Thomas Jefferson, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (1099 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998  · 

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

The Notebooks of Lazarus Long (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (472 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.

John Brown, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (1119 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Brian J. Dent

Too much of a good thing is just that.

Brian J. Dent, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (368 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (1249 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (512 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (201 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Change occurs in direct proportion to dissatisfaction, but dissatisfaction never changes.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1461 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (1290 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Take a chance and you may lose. Take not a chance and you have lost already.

Søren Kierkegaard, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1554 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We must become the change we want to see.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (275 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.

Stanley Garn, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (506 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (370 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

Robert J. Oppenheimer, (quoting the Bhagavadgita after witnessing the first nuclear explosion), in War and Peace

Comment#  ·   Fair (1649 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

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