Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/tq4jumf6  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/950guyxd  ·  submitted 1997

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/8vmi9s0a  ·  submitted 1997

I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct for revenge for which no expedient is sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, petty -- I call it the one mortal blemish of mankind.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/bgvxtarp  ·  submitted 1997

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/f0cqgbjg  ·  submitted 1997

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/tymlwb79  ·  submitted 1997

For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him, he must regard himself as greater than he is.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/jcg8ibwt  ·  submitted 1997

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/zzbstsyk  ·  submitted 1997

If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.

Stanley Garn, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pmqy9n03  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

Georges Courteline, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dlefcimh  ·  submitted 1997

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/gokrtfpu  ·  submitted 1997

If I don't know I don't know, I think I know. If I don't know I know, I think I don't know.

R. D. Laing, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/wpy86lpb  ·  submitted 1997

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/dozch5ts  ·  submitted 1997

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck.

Marian Erickson, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/da1k6tun  ·  submitted 1999 by Stephen

All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.

Lee Hawkins, in Health and Disease

tiny.ag/64hrko9k  ·  submitted 1997

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/2xwphyb8  ·  submitted 1997

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

James Joyce, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/9bumiall  ·  submitted 1997

There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Peter F. Drucker, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/uoqbw63r  ·  submitted 1997

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/8bpf0foj  ·  submitted 1997

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

Robert J. Oppenheimer, (quoting the Bhagavadgita after witnessing the first nuclear explosion), in War and Peace