Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/b3ohbca1  ·   Fair (254 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

He who spends his time reading aphorisms of another to have one of his own, has no time or brains to have any of his own.

M. Bernheisel, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/8hodlqqe  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confessor of character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/9qotdgih  ·   Fair (684 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Doug Kenney, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/x2tnoops  ·   Fair (810 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/dlefcimh  ·   Fair (589 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/r3davdhl  ·   Fair (427 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/npf5ywfi  ·   Fair (473 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

Confucius, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/slwohzjt  ·   Fair (549 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's kinda fun to do the impossible.

Walt Disney, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/la65dtiv  ·   Fair (1022 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace

tiny.ag/fg9hhljz  ·   Fair (3686 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·   Fair (549 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/7graufwl  ·   Fair (1408 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Law and Politics and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ig3zfjp4  ·   Fair (484 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/yuezt1iy  ·   Fair (377 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world.

Edmond Jules Goncourt, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/vmqykh2c  ·   Fair (1049 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/9kdycunx  ·   Fair (1386 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·   Fair (522 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/8bpf0foj  ·   Fair (370 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

Robert J. Oppenheimer, (quoting the Bhagavadgita after witnessing the first nuclear explosion), in War and Peace

tiny.ag/gvohc8br  ·   Fair (3332 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences.

Robert G. Ingersoll, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bpcdcqq7  ·   Fair (553 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure