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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.

Jenny Holzer, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harms way.

John Paul Jones, in War and Peace

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.

Hans A. Bethe, in War and Peace

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

Burning desire is the eternal flame.

Doug Horton, in Love and Hate

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Lillian Hellman, in Altruism and Cynicism

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Science and Religion

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Freedom is not the right to live as we please, but the right to find how we ought to live in order to fulfill our potential.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Albert Einstein, in Vice and Virtue

Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Altruism and Cynicism