Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/i5ba47dl  ·   Fair (478 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It gets late early out there.

Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pbhm4rie  ·   Fair (396 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·   Fair (591 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/yuezt1iy  ·   Fair (377 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world.

Edmond Jules Goncourt, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/ig3zfjp4  ·   Fair (484 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ya1hwz5x  ·   Fair (321 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.

Michel de Montaigne, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/p6bwfqfr  ·   Fair (702 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/uejht2oo  ·   Fair (234 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Jules de Gaultier, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/2cctxyhg  ·   Fair (610 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.

Hans A. Bethe, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/ctd7inn0  ·   Fair (637 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me right, shame on you.

Louis Armstrong, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/w4s36qc2  ·   Fair (502 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/hrd6aj12  ·   Fair (424 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.

George Patton, in War and Peace and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/fed8pqej  ·   Fair (1052 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997 by David Epstein

Disorder increases with time because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases.

Stephen Hawking, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/bpu9tj3d  ·   Fair (296 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/dkwhzql3  ·   Fair (400 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/d3ttj2ag  ·   Fair (374 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.

Elbert Hubbard, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/8vmi9s0a  ·   Fair (492 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct for revenge for which no expedient is sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, petty -- I call it the one mortal blemish of mankind.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/phdwhmxt  ·   Fair (632 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.

Cicero, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/up1actjs  ·   Fair (444 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.

Unknown, (sometimes, almost certainly incorrectly, attributed to the Buddha), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/rxe07t5e  ·   Fair (506 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women