Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (257 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (589 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (490 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Anatole France, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (313 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is its own troubles.

Jesus Christ, (Matthew 6:34), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (553 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (339 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (554 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (254 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998  · 

He who spends his time reading aphorisms of another to have one of his own, has no time or brains to have any of his own.

M. Bernheisel, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (651 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (476 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Lillian Hellman, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (343 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Bertolt Brecht, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (563 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.

Robert Burton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (331 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (388 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (1078 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.

G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (396 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (455 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1071 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1560 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by David Knight

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (1214 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Politicians and Other Scoundrels (paperback)

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