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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/ufko7fwv · submitted 1997
I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.
tiny.ag/2cctxyhg · submitted 1997
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
tiny.ag/jvo6jzxe · submitted 1997
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu · submitted 1997
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
tiny.ag/dnj7czjw · submitted 1998
Mankind must give up war in the Atomic Era. What is at stake is the life or death of humanity.
tiny.ag/y7qkjsrf · submitted 1997
Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.
tiny.ag/fwsozshx · submitted 1997
If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.
tiny.ag/g9nfhw0y · submitted 1997
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
tiny.ag/la65dtiv · submitted 1998
It was involuntary. They sank my boat.
John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace
tiny.ag/z91tc0go · submitted 1997
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
tiny.ag/mtktl96r · submitted 1997
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo · submitted 1997
Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/950guyxd · submitted 1997
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
tiny.ag/zdvgyvsm · submitted 1997
Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
tiny.ag/i0nu42ok · submitted 1997
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
tiny.ag/jgjax6rp · submitted 1999
Take a chance and you may lose. Take not a chance and you have lost already.
tiny.ag/f6aon4ji · submitted 1998
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/odq1svy5 · submitted 1997
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.