Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/tymlwb79  ·   Fair (3392 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him, he must regard himself as greater than he is.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·   Fair (890 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/zdvgyvsm  ·   Fair (256 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.

David Lloyd George, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b  ·   Fair (608 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/f6aon4ji  ·   Fair (1099 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/pmqy9n03  ·   Fair (782 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

Georges Courteline, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx  ·   Fair (433 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/jwhevbgo  ·   Fair (304 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Christopher Morley, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/ultj3i4v  ·   Fair (263 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.

Sandra Carey, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/iulae0a9  ·   Fair (288 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

That which is static and repetitive is boring. That which is dynamic and random is confusing. In between lies art.

John A. Locke, sometimes incorrectly attributed to John Locke, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/dkwhzql3  ·   Fair (400 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/hyedkhd2  ·   Fair (330 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ndewfsya  ·   Fair (980 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"

Sigmund Freud, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/uz9atcqm  ·   Fair (278 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/wtukmszr  ·   Fair (1186 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/la8pw7kl  ·   Fair (381 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!

Rudyard Kipling, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho  ·   Fair (512 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hjlqxeds  ·   Fair (337 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In politics, merit is rewarded by the possessor being raised, like a target, to a position to be fired at.

Christian Nevell Bovee, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/yzqij6mr  ·   Fair (766 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul.

Haldane, in Vice and Virtue and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/fed8pqej  ·   Fair (1052 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997 by David Epstein

Disorder increases with time because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases.

Stephen Hawking, in Science and Religion