Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (325 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (1386 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Comment#  ·   Fair (986 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (328 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (935 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

An Evening Wasted (audio CD)

Comment#  ·   Fair (473 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Comment#  ·   Fair (769 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.

Anatole France, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (400 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (651 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (1119 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Brian J. Dent

Too much of a good thing is just that.

Brian J. Dent, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (383 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (3686 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (1198 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.

Joseph Conrad, in Art and Literature

Comment#  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (1050 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Michael A. Loduha

When skunks duel, wind direction is everything.

Michael A. Loduha, (on environmental factors in legal cases vs. the attorneys' skills; from a lecture series), in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (388 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (334 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

James Carse, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (563 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If I don't know I don't know, I think I know. If I don't know I know, I think I don't know.

R. D. Laing, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (1410 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Women make love for love, men make love for lust.

Derrick Harge, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.

Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance

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