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A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

War is not nice.

Barbara Bush, in War and Peace

A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, in Science and Religion

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Altruism and Cynicism

It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once.

David Hume, in Law and Politics

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill, in Law and Politics

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

Thomas Jefferson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost, in Wealth and Poverty

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Collis P. Huntington, in Altruism and Cynicism

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Albert Einstein, in Work and Recreation

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.

R. I. Fitzhenry, in Wisdom and Ignorance

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation