Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/zpsqkb73  ·  submitted 1997

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/bpu9tj3d  ·  submitted 1997

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/fg9hhljz  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/losztnwc  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/bpcdcqq7  ·  submitted 1997

Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/e87wmjqg  ·  submitted 1997

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/6qzazlkw  ·  submitted 1997

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Ernesto "Che" Guevara, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/rxe07t5e  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/dxbh08ml  ·  submitted 1997

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Robert F. Kennedy, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/wpy86lpb  ·  submitted 1997

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6b9j37a4  ·  submitted 1997

Wise men don't need advice; fools don't take it.

Benjamin Franklin, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/gvfo9jw1  ·  submitted 1997

Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

Gilbert K. Chesterton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/bmdpgrs0  ·  submitted 1997

Let's have some new clichés.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/bqie1hj5  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/5gcdbjbx  ·  submitted 1997

Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/jcg8ibwt  ·  submitted 1997

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance